Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
