I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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