how hairy? two words: wookie tits
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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