Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
