That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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