Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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