I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think people are normalizing furries
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
