Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
