Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
