I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
