yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
