Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize