Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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