Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
did i just pee glitter
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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