Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
