Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
