weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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