i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
