So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
