hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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