Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
