He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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