Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize