it's like iHOP with fire
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
