found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
