he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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