scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i've created a new STD.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
