I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Found your dick twin last night
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
