why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
