Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
