So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
