:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
How does it feel to date your dad?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
