Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
