She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
