sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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