I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
