Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
