Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
