I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
