He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
