I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize