Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize