Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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