Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
