you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
