my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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