I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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