I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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