Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
