So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
