Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
