dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
false alarm. still invincible.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
