My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
