so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I looked at my own cervix.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
