honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
