I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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