brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
