Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
