he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
