Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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