You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
