$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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