At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
