I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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