we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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