ya dads aren't the best wingmen
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
